Perks of Being Over 50!

1.Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2.In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
3.No one expects you to run--anywhere.
4.People call @ 9pm and ask ,"Did I wake you?????"
5.People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6.There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7.Things you buy now won't wear out.
8.You can eat dinner @4pm.
9.You can live without sex but not your glasses.
10.You get in heated arguments about pension plans.
11.You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
12.You quit trying to hold your stomack in no matter who walks in the room.
13.You sing along with elevator music.
14.Your eyes wont get much worse.
15.Your investment in health insurance is finnally paying off.
16.Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
17.Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
18.Your supply of brain cells is finally down to mamgeable size.
19.You can't remember who sent you this.